This past weekend Jeremy and I decided to take all three kids and go ice-fishing up north on Lake Mille Lacs. Call us crazy, but we thought it would be fun to spend the weekend as a family...in a little fish house...with holes in it...on the ice...in the snow...in the middle of a giant lake.
It started out slow, as most family vacations do, with lots and lots of stops. I think the 2 1/2 hour drive ended up taking about 4 hours- ugh. We finally made it out there at about 9:30 pm. That's 2 1/2 hours past the kids' normal bedtime. Everyone was so tired, throwing fits, crying...and that was just the adults! In any case, it was about 11:00 pm before anyone got to sleep. Wilder struggled the most with being able to sleep and woke up a few times during the night, waking up for good around 6:00 in the morning- YUCK. The big kids woke up around 7:00 am and that was that. We were vacationing with our family.
The worst part of staying out on the ice in an ice-fishing house is that there are no facilities, if you will. I have been accused of being prissy by some people who are all about camping, but that's not the case. I don't care about bugs, snakes, worms, or any other aspects of camping other than wanting a comfortable place to sleep and a bathroom when I need it. Is that so much to ask? I don't think it's a matter of "prissiness", I think it's a matter of taste. Some people think it's fun to pee outside and sleep on the hard ground, I think it's fun to use a toilet and sleep in a bed- call me crazy. However, I really do enjoy all other aspects of doing "outdoorsy" activities. But, man, not having a bathroom? I don't know... So, here's how it went. The boys opened the door and just let it flow. Wilder had diapers (lucky brat). Avalon went in a bucket with Jeremy holding her up so she wouldn't fall in. I was told that this was also MY option. Um, no thank you. I'm not going to pee in the corner while you all sit at the table or on the couch and can see me. No. Not going to happen. Thank goodness I am a genius. I had Jeremy set up one of the portable fish houses outside (think tent without a floor) and I would just step into my little makeshift commode when nature called. I think I deserve some points for that.
We spent much of the day at my father-in-law's house just a few miles off the lake and it was good for the kids to actually have space to run around and not fall into holes in the ice made for catching fish. They had so much fun with their grandpa! Hunter got to shoot a gun and hit the target- he was so proud! Although, I think Jer was the proudest and I swear he had tears in his eyes seeing his son be so grown up. I reveled in the fact that for a few hours I had the opportunity to use a real bathroom and could sit on comfortable furniture.
When we got back "home", we threw some pizzas in the oven, put the kids to bed- which went much more smoothly this time, and settled in for some of Yahtzee, Boggle, Scrabble, and beer...ah, yes, this is a vacation.
Everyone seemed to sleep better that second and final night of our little trip and we all woke up in a much better mood. Jeremy made us french toast and pancakes and we enjoyed a calm breakfast... THEN we had to pack back up. UGH. That's the problem with short vacations: you spend more time packing and unpacking than you do actually vacationing. My husband is lucky that I get a thrill from organizing or it would have been hell.
I was proud that I had spent the whole weekend making sure no one or thing fell into any of the holes. But then it happened. About 20 minutes before we were ready to head home, Hunter had a ball that somehow made it into a hole and started to sink. We did everything that we could, but it just sank and sank. It was a little creepy, actually. The lake was so clear that you could see it sinking lower and lower as it disappeared. Gave me the chills. But the worst part was poor Hunter. He was devastated. He was so upset! He was sobbing like he had lost something extremely important and valuable. That was when I learned a really important lesson about being a mom. Here is what happened:
I was comforting him and telling him we would get another ball- like, I think, any parent would be doing. But then I started crying. My poor son had experienced loss and I was heartbroken for him. I was thinking about things that are important to me. I was thinking about how I would feel if it were my wedding ring, or precious photographs, or an expensive blouse. I don't know what helped me to add that perspective, but it made all the difference. He and I just sat there crying and hugging. I was telling him how angry and sad I would be and how I know he must be so frustrated. He calmed down when I was saying that and just kind of collapsed in my arms. I think it made him feel really good to know that I understood and was grieving with him. I realized how important it is to validate our kids feelings, even though we may not share those feelings. That ball may have been a cheap toy that is silly and totally replaceable, but it wasn't that to him. To Hunter, this was an expensive and special item and it was tragedy for him to see it gone. When I felt compassion for him rather than telling, "stop crying, we'll get you another, it's not a big deal", I taught him something and he really taught me something. I learned that the bible verse that talks about grieving with those who grieve isn't just talking about grieving with those who grieve over things that we think are worthy of grief, but it's grieving with them even when we don't understand. That includes our kids and their "silly" ideas about what's important. Funny how something so seemingly insignificant on a trip that seemed to just be a weekend away could affect me so dramatically. I am thankful for that.
So, you're probably wondering why I didn't say anything about catching fish...well, there weren't any. Okay, okay, I should clarify. There was one that took a nibble, but we never got it on the line and that was that. No other bites or nibbles or anything of that nature. I blame the kids. What fish is going to be dumb enough to get caught when there's thundering overhead from our kids jumping and running around and screaming and crying and stomping their feet?
All in all, it was a great "vacation" (like the quotes around vacation?)..yeah, it was great.
No comments:
Post a Comment